i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Quick, to the slutcave!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
