Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
