Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
