I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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