i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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