The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
