All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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