I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
