If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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