Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
