Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I will die if light touches me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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