David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
