honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
