i just wanna soil my oats bro
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
