The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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