he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
