i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
