Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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