Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
