I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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