I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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