i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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