I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize