found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
