So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
