Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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