we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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