just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
