it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
