I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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