So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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