In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
foreskin is a definite game changer
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
