nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
