D3 body, D1 cock
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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