sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
