this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
