Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
