we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
