The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
