im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
