My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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