There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
