used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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