How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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