Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
