I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize