I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You can't motorboat a personality
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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