I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
