of course. lets lasso hookers.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
