Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
