Just cropdusted the office
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
