I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
