O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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