It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize