drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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