I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
