bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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