i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I supernannyed him into submission
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize