i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
