just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize