it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
