scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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