I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
