He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
