My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
