Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
