Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
