Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
