In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
