I puked a lego.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
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