we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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