You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
