I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
