If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
ok first of all what the fuck
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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