I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
